DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
