moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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