All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
