Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
