The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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