How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
