Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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