So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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