Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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