bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
