He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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