wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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