They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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