lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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