I think my fart just growled at me.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
