Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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