She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Houston, we have a squirter
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize