working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
