she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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