my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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