whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
