there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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