Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
