So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
