Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
