If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
