so let's talk penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
