No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Farmville is her only friend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
