D3 body, D1 cock
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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