I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can Purell be used as lube?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
