haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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