She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize