Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
