Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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