yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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