I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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