STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
