I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
