if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
