i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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