Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
