Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
