oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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