It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
