fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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