I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
