Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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