i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
