just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Randomize
