I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
