Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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