I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
