He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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