it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
