But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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