I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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